Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Joy in the Small Things

Lately I have been in a spinning state of mind.I have been in my own head, living in moments that happened years ago or years from now. It has been so difficult for me to stay present, which is of course when and where life is, so I haven't really been living in the past week or so.
However, on this day I decided to be fully present, as much as possible anyway. This is difficult for me, especially lately. I have been in a fog of obsessive thoughts. Over and over the same things pop up, driving me absolutely crazy. Of course, the more I try to resist this, the more I obsess.
Shannon and I took the kids to my parents, which is always an adventure. With Shannon, even a trip to the gas station is hilarious.
At the gas station in my too-tight clothes. It is all that I have, I have to do laundry :/ Thankful for my goofy friend, always making me laugh.My Clayton is getting SO big, I can't believe that he is almost 15 and so tall. Such a good kid too, smart and sweet. A very old soul. I am thankful for his wise words - Mr. Capricorn - sometimes more responsible than I.
Wesley is my little baby, he is simply amazing how he grows each day. He is so squishy and each day reminds me that I need to appreciate the little things. I am thankful for his reminders to pay attention to small and beautiful things.
My mom and dad's house is my home, and always will be. When I dream of home, I dream of this house. Thank you for providing me with an anchor and a safe haven.
Selene is my only girl and I love sharing feminine things with her. She brings out the girl in me. She is so kind and sensitive and really cares about others. Thank you Beanie for always reminding me to consider the feelings of others and reminding me to be compassionate.
I love my mom and dad's view. This reminds me of my connection to my childhood and I am very thankful of my connection to my roots and the base of who I am.
My mom gave me these shoes, and you can say that I am too old to be wearing Chucks - but I am very thankful for them - they make me feel a little unique and "off beat".
I am very thankful for the peace that comes over me when I take the kids for a walk by the water. There are so many beautiful things there, tiny and big.
Wesley collects dead sea creature parts. I must admit, I am not very thankful for that :)
I think bees are beautiful. I have had them land and stay on me and I am unafraid. I have only been stung twice in my life - both times because I sat on one, so I don't blame the bees. I am thankful for the little buzzing noises they make and the busy ness of them.
So thankful for playful moments. Life is a series of moments. Moments should be made pleasant and fun.
I found this amazing leaf. I love the intricacy of this, the laciness and golden glow of it. I am thankful that I recognize that beauty is where you find it.

Thank you for the pretty red color of my hair in the sun.
I am extremely close to my dad - definitely a daddy's girl. I am so thankful that we talk every day.
The path in the back of my mom's house is lovely. There is so much to see. I am thankful for how quiet this place is, and how clearly I can think when I walk this path.

I am thankful for reminders that the micro reflects the macro. As it is above and outside of ourselves so it is below and inside of ourselves.
So grateful for how close Shannon and I are. We are closer than any sisters I have ever met, she has always been there for me and I have no doubt that we will always be close.
My mom is honest with me, but always patient through all of my insane rantings. Thank you mom for always reminding me of my priorities and giving me the very best of you.
Thank you for warm fall days around the fire with my family and friends. I love all of you.
Thank you for the fire and the hypnotic state you induce in me. The peace of mind you give me is undeniable.
Thank you for everything in my life that is good, that helps me to grow as a person. Thank you for my beautiful life, the direction I am headed in is perfect for me.

1 comment:

  1. I'm Sry... but I say the pic of Clay and almost cried... I wanna reread this tomm when my head id more clear... But clearly you are blessed so remember that ..