Thursday, October 27, 2011

My New Apartment

I am moving in a few days to an apartment that has never been lived in before. Everything in it is copletely new, never been used. I am very excited. However ... I really like old houses with character and uniqueness, and this is an apartment that is in a complex with hundreds of other apartments that are exactly like it. I need to make it my own somehow. So, I am doing so the only way that I know how, I am going to create everything in my home. I am going to paint everything, and anything else that I can do to make it my own.
I just adore bright color. I have included these photos for some inspiration. I'm not sure exactly what I will be doing just yet, but it will be colorful and uniquely me.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Joy in the Small Things

Lately I have been in a spinning state of mind.I have been in my own head, living in moments that happened years ago or years from now. It has been so difficult for me to stay present, which is of course when and where life is, so I haven't really been living in the past week or so.
However, on this day I decided to be fully present, as much as possible anyway. This is difficult for me, especially lately. I have been in a fog of obsessive thoughts. Over and over the same things pop up, driving me absolutely crazy. Of course, the more I try to resist this, the more I obsess.
Shannon and I took the kids to my parents, which is always an adventure. With Shannon, even a trip to the gas station is hilarious.
At the gas station in my too-tight clothes. It is all that I have, I have to do laundry :/ Thankful for my goofy friend, always making me laugh.My Clayton is getting SO big, I can't believe that he is almost 15 and so tall. Such a good kid too, smart and sweet. A very old soul. I am thankful for his wise words - Mr. Capricorn - sometimes more responsible than I.
Wesley is my little baby, he is simply amazing how he grows each day. He is so squishy and each day reminds me that I need to appreciate the little things. I am thankful for his reminders to pay attention to small and beautiful things.
My mom and dad's house is my home, and always will be. When I dream of home, I dream of this house. Thank you for providing me with an anchor and a safe haven.
Selene is my only girl and I love sharing feminine things with her. She brings out the girl in me. She is so kind and sensitive and really cares about others. Thank you Beanie for always reminding me to consider the feelings of others and reminding me to be compassionate.
I love my mom and dad's view. This reminds me of my connection to my childhood and I am very thankful of my connection to my roots and the base of who I am.
My mom gave me these shoes, and you can say that I am too old to be wearing Chucks - but I am very thankful for them - they make me feel a little unique and "off beat".
I am very thankful for the peace that comes over me when I take the kids for a walk by the water. There are so many beautiful things there, tiny and big.
Wesley collects dead sea creature parts. I must admit, I am not very thankful for that :)
I think bees are beautiful. I have had them land and stay on me and I am unafraid. I have only been stung twice in my life - both times because I sat on one, so I don't blame the bees. I am thankful for the little buzzing noises they make and the busy ness of them.
So thankful for playful moments. Life is a series of moments. Moments should be made pleasant and fun.
I found this amazing leaf. I love the intricacy of this, the laciness and golden glow of it. I am thankful that I recognize that beauty is where you find it.

Thank you for the pretty red color of my hair in the sun.
I am extremely close to my dad - definitely a daddy's girl. I am so thankful that we talk every day.
The path in the back of my mom's house is lovely. There is so much to see. I am thankful for how quiet this place is, and how clearly I can think when I walk this path.

I am thankful for reminders that the micro reflects the macro. As it is above and outside of ourselves so it is below and inside of ourselves.
So grateful for how close Shannon and I are. We are closer than any sisters I have ever met, she has always been there for me and I have no doubt that we will always be close.
My mom is honest with me, but always patient through all of my insane rantings. Thank you mom for always reminding me of my priorities and giving me the very best of you.
Thank you for warm fall days around the fire with my family and friends. I love all of you.
Thank you for the fire and the hypnotic state you induce in me. The peace of mind you give me is undeniable.
Thank you for everything in my life that is good, that helps me to grow as a person. Thank you for my beautiful life, the direction I am headed in is perfect for me.

Friday, October 14, 2011

General Circumstances: The Eight of Swords reflects that you feel trapped by your own thoughts and perspectives. The woman in this card is blindfolded and bound, trapping her into thinking that she has no way out. However, if only she could remove the blindfold and change her thinking, she would see that she does indeed have options. So, the Eight of Swords suggests that you need to look at a difficult situation from a new angle. Draw upon your intellectual self and your emotional self to determine the best path forward, one that avoids any possible victimisation or restriction.

The Eight of Swords is often a sign that it is best not to make any important decisions at this point because your thinking has been limited and constrained by self-imposed boundaries. You are struggling to see a situation for what it is and have been lead to believe certain things that may or may not be true. There are choices available but first you must be within the right mindset to know which option to choose. This means releasing the bindings and the blindfold to see the situation from a different, less imposing angle. There may also be too many ideas running through your head, thus it is best to wait until you feel more secure and certain about a situation before making important decisions and taking action.

The woman in the Eight of Swords is often seen as powerless. She has surrendered her power to an unknown entity, thus rendering herself completely powerless. She has become the victim and is now waiting to be rescued. If you see part of this woman in yourself, then it is imperative you take back your power and personal accountability and open your eyes to the options that lie in front of you. The fact is that you do have options, even if you do not like those options. This is fine, so long as you accept that you do indeed have options and you do not have to be the victim here.

The Eight of Swords portrays a dilemma whereby you are faced with the difficulty of a painful decision and you are at an impasse, uncertain of which way to go. However, what you may not realise is that the decision in the Eight is the result of our own actions. Despite the fact that you have boxed yourself into a corner, there is a way out. The solution is simply to deal with the situation in the most direct yet tactful manner possible, and face your choice with inner strength. It is time to be honest with yourself and others in order to be free of the burden of fear or guilt that is implied with the Eight of Swords.

The Eight of Swords can indicate that your interests will be opposed by other people, and this may create restrictions to what it is you want to achieve. Take back your power and realise that you have options whether others oppose you or not. You do not have to be constrained by their way of thinking or their rules.

Obstacles: The Queen of Swords represents the sternness of a mature intellect which is devoid of emotion. In mythology, the feminine is associated with emotion, yet in this card the woman is stern and composed, and without much feeling. This card therefore represents the intellect’s ability to judge and discern impartially, without the influence of emotion or sentimentality. She likes to know the how, what, why, where, when and who of everything to help her make sense of her environment and to better understand others. It is not that she does not care about others but she connects to other people through an intellectual understanding rather than an emotional understanding.

The Queen of Swords is a sign that you need to be independent in thought and in judgement. You must use your unbiased intelligence in order to make a judgement of a particular situation, drawing upon every piece of information and fact that you have gathered along the way. Empathy or compassion towards others may distract you from the task at hand, so it is important that you think with your head and not with your heart at this particular time. Do not let emotion get in the way. Rather, use fact and logic to make your decisions.

The Queen of Swords also has an innate ability to tell it like it is She is a quick thinker and highly perceptive, and as such, she can cut through the noise and confusion to get straight to the point. There is certainly no ‘beating about the bush’, or ‘softening’ of her comments, opinions and thoughts. She is upfront and honest about her opinions, and expects the same from others. The best way to interact with the Queen of Swords, therefore, is to remain as impartial as possible, and to present your thoughts and opinions concisely and honestly.

Best you can arrive at: The Emperor in reverse can tell us that we are giving our heart more credence than what our mind and logic is telling us. In general that is not a bad thing; but ideally we would be balancing both. Use your mind AND your heart, this reversed card tells us. You may be easily distracted now and could find it hard to maintain your concentration and focus. Yet drawing the reversed emperor indicates that concentration and focus is vital now.

The Foundation on which the situation is based:

The Four of Wands heralds celebration, good times, a happy and harmonious home environment and good news. In numerology, four symbolises stability and firm foundations, and in the case of the Four of Wands, you are now enjoying a period of happiness and stability. This card indicates a sense of harmony and balance as well as completion, and thus symbolises a time of peace and joy in life that come as the result of often difficult and challenging effort. The Four of Wands is one of the most positive cards in the Tarot deck and indicates general good fortune, satisfaction, and fulfilment.

With the Four of Wands, it is the perfect time to get together with your family and friends and to celebrate all the wonderful times that you have had together. Often, this card reflects the holiday period where you get together with the extended family and join in a celebration. Alternatively, it may be as simple as inviting your closest friends over for an intimate dinner and a few glasses of nice wine. The Four of Wands often points to a marriage, engagement, birth of a child, a birthday, graduation or other type of celebration that marks a special milestone.

If you have been working on a project, you will reach an important milestone and will have cause to celebrate. You have completed a significant phase of the project and can feel very proud of what you have accomplished so far. This card augurs a time of joy and satisfaction in life and represents the personal gratification of a job well done, a goal attained, and a vision beginning to be realised.

Given the Four of Wands is closely associated with the home environment, you may be working on improving or renovating your home. You may have recently purchased a new home or are very close to finding a new home and getting ready to settle down in your new environment.

The Four of Wands indicates peace, harmony and tranquillity. You may find a refuge from the turmoils of life, perhaps by meeting someone new in a romantic setting, or by finding a new place to live that is ‘away from it all’. If you have been experiencing any disagreements with others, now will be the time to make a peace offering and instead focus on creating harmony in the relationship.

The Four of Wands provides encouragement when things seem too daunting. The card serves as a reminder that most things in life do not come easily, and so when you do accomplish a major milestone, you should be proud of everything that you have achieved. The Four of Wands is also representative of move from one stage to another, and moving past mistakes and challenges to a place of peace, acceptance and happiness.

Past: In a reversed position, the Tarot card meanings of the Three of Wands refer to issues of unrealistic expectations or delays in projects. In some cases, the Three of Wands can indicate disagreements or altercations with your partnerships. There may be conflicting or opposing interests. Your collaborations with others are proving inhibiting the growth of a project or endeavor.

In a Tarot reading, a reversed Three of Wands may indicate that your expectations are not realistic. The project you have been working on is failing to bring the success you anticipated. You may have setbacks or delays. You have not done the necessary work to bring your project to fruition.

In some cases, a reversed Three of Wands can indicate further waiting. Your project is not yet ready to flourish. It’s important not to lose faith. There is more work to be done and the best approach is practicality. You may have to work on your partnerships by getting everyone on the same page. Try not to let your anxiety and fear inhibit you ability to get into action. You may have to take a step backward and rethink your objectives.
◦Disagreements or conflict with partnerships
◦Delays or setbacks
◦Unrealistic expectations
◦More work is necessary
◦The need for practicality

Future: The King of Cups, like all the court cards in the suit of Cups, represents emotion, creativity, and the unconscious. Unlike the preceding three court cards, however, the King of Cups expresses much more restraint in his emotional state. He is a master of his own feelings, and remains in control of his emotions. Not to say that he represses those feelings and sentiments. On the contrary, the King of Cups represents the balance between the emotions and the intellect. He is a master of compassion and kindness and his card often indicates strong bonds in a relationship based on temperance and understanding.

As such, the King of Cups indicates that you feel very emotionally balanced and in control. You have a very deep understanding of your feelings and emotions, and are able to connect with this when necessary. As you deal with some of the scenarios that life throws at you, draw on this deep emotional maturity to help you navigate these challenges. Also, know that this is an incredible gift you have and be open to sharing your emotional stability and calm approach with others.

If you are facing challenges, then the King of Cups is an indication that you must create balance in the realm of the emotions. The King of Cups represents compassion; one of the most powerful and beautiful qualities of the human spirit. Ask yourself, “How can I develop a stronger awareness of the unconscious without being overwhelmed by its power? How can I develop a stronger sense of compassion without falling into the trap of sentimentality?”

The King of Cups encourages you to be considerate in your dealings with others and as you counsel others. You may need to understand why strong feelings have surfaced and how to best cope with them. It is important that you do not repress emotions but instead explore them with an open heart and an open mind.

Sometimes, the King of Cups can represent an older male who may appear in your life. This card represents a man of business, law or divinity, who is kind, considerate and willing to take responsibility for his actions. He is paternalistic but in a sensitive, generous manner, and he enjoys the quiet power associated with providing loving energy to others. He is able to listen mindfully to others and he responds calmly in a crisis. He uses diplomacy rather than force, and reached out to help, not to stifle or have it only his way!

Similarly, the King of Cups shows you generosity, graciousness, love, calmness, caring and will give you his healing ways. He has power in the business world and loves law and order. You would love him to be your doctor. If there were a crisis at hand, this is someone you would hope to have near.

The King of Cups is highly diplomatic and politically correct. He has a real talent at being able to balance the needs of many people and keeps everyone working together harmoniously and productively. He knows how to show care and sensitivity as he leads others towards a common goal. He responds carefully to others’ emotional needs and can diffuse a tense situation by reading and responding to the different people involved.

If you are being challenged personally, the King of Cups suggests you will need to remain emotionally mature in dealing with the negative energy from others. You need to be clear in your own mind about what your boundaries are and what is and is not acceptable on an emotional level. This King is level-headed and in control of his emotions. He uses his emotional intellect to make smart decisions and does not let other circumstances or whims sway him from his central belief system and his morals.

Me: The reversed, negative qualities include lying, gossiping, and being a know-it-all. He may spread stories about people, say inappropriate things, waste his time on the computer in chat rooms, etc. Do not, under any circumstances, trust this person with a secret - they won't keep it.

When we are obsessed by an idea and wish to manifest that idea, we are often so blinded by the desire for its fulfilment that we fail to see the difficulties we may encounter or the consequences of our actions. The Knight of Swords is a powerful figure full of life and energy who needs to be balanced with a realisation of responsibility and compassion. Once he has set forth on his journey, there is no stopping him! He does not see, nor care about, any upcoming challenges, risks or dangers, and instead moves forward with his strong intent to succeed and win. On the positive side, this card shows great ambition, determination and strength to succeed no matter what. On the negative side, however, he can be blind to potential challenges and consequences of his actions, and may charge forth into a dangerous territory without any foresight or preparation. He may also neglect to understand the needs of others as he fervently pursues his own goals.

The Knight of Swords often reflects a time when you are embarking on a new project or idea and there really is no stopping you. You have had this sudden burst of energy that is propelling you forward and inspiring you to take quick action to manifest your goals. You are ready to overcome any problem, challenge or obstacle that is in your path. How could anything stand in your way if you are this focused and this committed to your goal? However, you may be prone to rushing things or cutting corners in order to get a job done. Sometimes this works for you but other times it does not. For example, using low cost providers will help you get the job done quickly and cheaply but quality may suffer in the long-term and you may consume more time fixing their work. Also, ensure that you keep others on side, particularly if they are part of your longer-term success. You might be all fired up and ready to go but if your colleagues, partner, friends, or family are not, then you are likely to run into trouble later down the track.

The Knight of Swords also represents your need to understand the world from an intellectual point of view. You have well-developed communication skills and can easily form solid arguments and opinions on current affairs and important matters. You love to engage with others who have similar skills so that you can share your ideas and develop new points of view. You may be best suited to discussion groups with like-minded individuals where you can fire each other up and motivate one another.

Hopes, fears and an unexpected element:
The Ace of Swords shows the beginning of a situation whose potential is as double-edged as the blade of the sword itself. The Ace implies the use of great power, even excessive power at times, to further one’s ends but what is not clear is how those powers will be used, or what it is that you are trying to achieve. No matter what the goal, there is always great power behind the attempts to reach it and, as such, very little can stand in the way of the energy of the Ace of Swords without being destroyed.

The power of the Ace of Swords can be drawn up by anyone whose heart, mind and will are strong. However, it is up to the bearer of the Sword to tap that potential and use it in a way that is beneficial for the greater good.

The Ace of Swords represents a period of great insight and mental clarity. It signifies a ‘break-through’ or an ‘aha’ moment where suddenly conscious understanding and mental reasoning reach their peak, and achievement of goals suddenly becomes a lot easier. You have a new understanding of some issue that has been of concern, or, in a broader sense, a new world view. This is a perfect time to clear away the fog that has kept you from seeing the inner truth, so that you can now cut to the heart of the matter. This is also a good time to act, and if you set your mind to accomplishing your goals, you can achieve anything you desire.

The Ace of Swords highlights a new idea, inspiration, original thinking and creative vision. It represents a point at which you have a new way of thinking and the energy to go with it. You are excited to pursue new opportunities that draw upon your creative and mental abilities.

The Ace of Swords also encourages you to seek out the truth of the matter and to find justice. You may be championing a cause or standing up for your rights or the rights of others. Thus sometimes, the Ace of Swords can suggest that you are prepared for ‘battle’. You have great clarity on a situation and can now argue your case with the view to come out victorious. You may have a new idea for which you are ready to fight, or you may be all fired up on an issue that you are particularly passionate about, such as human rights, the environment or your personal beliefs. This card invites you to use mental force and to use your intellect and critical reasoning. If faced with a challenging situation, you need to be ready for ‘battle’ and be prepared to find the strength to overcome these challenges.

1) Opposites: There are negative aspects to the Magician card and a reader using reversals might simply save them for reversed cards. Negatives in this case are seeing the Magician as a "snake oil" man rather than a true doctor/healer, as a trickster rather than a shaman, as a con-artist rather than a charismatic speaker.

Reversed, possibilities become jokes; empty promises rather than true visions of what could be. This is the "music man" running off with the money rather than really teaching boys how to use those instruments and create a band.

2) Blocked: Blockage undoubtedly seems evident here. The charismatic speaker finds he can't move his audience, can't find the right words. The doctor has trouble with a diagnosis.

And there seem to be neither possibilities for the future, nor a way to achieve such possibilities. There seems to be no way to make or get what is needed. The lumber to build the house is there, but the blueprints and tools are missing.

3) Upside-down: If we imagine the Rider-Waite Magician reversed, we can see those tools falling off the table. Likewise, the Magician in that card points his wand to the sky and finger to the Earth - drawing inspiration down from the heavens, as it were to make it possible in the mundane world. Upside-down, (earth at Magician's head, heaven at his feet) we have the opposite. What was possible become impossible; a dream only seen above not below.

This was my reading this morning and I asked - "How can I really improve every part of my life?"


Knight of Pentacles - Tarot Card Meanings

General Circumstances:

The Knight of Pentacles works in a very methodical and rigorous manner. Though his visions may not be earth-shattering, and his methods are certainly not original, the Knight of Pentacles sees that everything he undertakes will meet with nothing but success. He has the patience to accomplish all his tasks and he is incredibly reliable due to his sense of responsibility and commitment. As a court card, the Knight of Pentacles may represent a part of yourself, someone in your life or an event.

As a part of yourself, the Knight of Pentacles suggests that you need to be trustworthy, reliable and a good provider. You need to follow a routine to ensure that an important task or job is completed from start to finish at the standard expected. You are in ‘implementation mode’ and are committed to getting the job done, even if it requires hard work along the way. You are also fiercely loyal and prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure the job gets done.

There is a certain element of perfectionism associated with the Knight of Pentacles. You are meticulous in your approach and you make sure that everything is planned and executed down to the finest detail to create overall success. You will never leave a job half done. It is essential to you that you complete all assigned tasks and projects to a certain standard and that you follow through on your promises.

If you are dependent on the efforts of someone else to help you accomplish a goal in life, they will prove trustworthy and reliable. They are as committed to your goal as you are and they are very conscientious and committed in their work. For example, you may have employed the help of a house cleaner who consistently does a great job, or a virtual assistant who is dedicated to assisting you with every task you throw their way. This is someone who wants to do a great job and is not afraid of hard work in order to meet your expectations.

As an event, the Knight of Pentacles often shows a time when you will have to assume responsibility and take charge of a situation. You may be assigned a project or given a task to do, and you will have to commit your time to see that project through to the end successfully. With the Knight of Pentacles, you will be required to accept responsibility without any complaints or grudges.

Sometimes, the Knight of Pentacles points to the more mundane elements of life. It represents routine, day-to-day activities, and general hard work that can sometimes be a ‘slog’. It indicates a conservative approach that is risk averse and very ‘safe’. This card also asks you to continue doing what you are doing, plodding along and making gradual progress. There is also no need to change your approach, just ‘more of the same’. Go with the flow, stick with your usual routines, and over time, you will reach your goals.

Similarly, the Knight of Pentacles suggests that you are taking a very moderated and conservative approach to life right now, and while you may be feeling that change is imminent, you are sticking to your tried and tested ways of doing things. You have established that you need routine and careful planning if you are to achieve your goals. It may not necessarily be a very interesting or exciting period but at least you know you are on the right path to achieving your goals. Even if you are growing weary and tempted to quit, this Knight beckons you to keep at it, keep grinding away at it and you will eventually see success. Keep your promises and stay true to your commitments.

Conversely, if a situation has been stagnant for some time, you might see this Knight as a suggestion that you are being a bit stubborn and could do with a compromise. At times, this Knight can become too narrow-minded when he is fixated on his own ‘stuff’ and is hard-headed, obstinate and resistant to change.

Obstacles: The Six of Cups is a card of childhood, nostalgia, naïve happiness, and generosity. You want to return to the happy memories of your past, whether as a child, teenager or adult. Oftentimes, though, these memories are indeed a thing of the past and reflect aspects of your life that have since vanished. You may feel that the only way to connect to this happiness is to escape into the past where you can reflect on your happy and beautiful memories, instead of dealing with current challenges. This is fine if you are simply taking a walk down memory lane but it is important that you live in the present and accept your current circumstances rather than always living in the past.

Oftentimes, there is nothing wrong with looking back at the good times for inspiration when things are not going so well. In the midst of change and crisis, the Six of Cups suggests that looking back at what you have endured is a good way to assure yourself that, whatever trials lay ahead, you will meet them and you will overcome them as you overcame others. After losses such as those on the Fives, the Six of Cups suggests that you need to take time out to heal, look back on the past and all the good that lies there. During this period of reflection, there is no need to focus on the negative. Instead, bring all of the positive energy from the past into your present and your future. The fallen cups are now full and upright again but with blooming flowers that cannot be spilled or washed away. Now that you have looked back, the way forward will be clear and enlightening.

The Six of Cups can represent a return to a familiar environment or to a childhood place. You may return to your home town, to your parents’ house, to your high school or even kindergarten. You could be going to a high school reunion or reconnecting with a childhood acquaintance. A teenage sweetheart or past lover may turn up again. Allow yourself positive, nostalgic memories of childhood, friends and family. If you can, spend time with younger people.

The Six of Cups can also point to your inner child and suggests a need to experience child-like joy. The child you were still lives within you and must be cared for. This is often referred to as working with your inner child. People with persistent problems such as addiction, depression, troubled relationships and chronic dissatisfaction can transform their lives with inner child work and find a new joy and energy in living. The source of your problems may be in past events that are triggered in the present. We are made up of many parts and inside we still have the little child and adolescent we were with all of its experiences and feelings. This can lead to the inner child reacting strongly to certain experiences, situations and feelings in the present, based on experiences of the past. Working with your inner child and getting to know where these feelings come from can change that and enhance your choices in miraculous ways. When we are being playful, spontaneous, creative, intuitive and surrendering to the spiritual self, our genuine authentic Self, who we know deep within us, our real Self is being welcomed and encouraged to be present.

The Six of Cups can also refer to children in your life. It can denote a pregnancy, birth or adoption, depending on the other cards in the reading. Or, it may indicate that you are about to spend more time with young children, playing, laughing and learning together. Children play a significant role in your present life, and can serve as great advisors. Children are good role models to follow when this card is present. They see the world as a completely perfect place and their hearts are open to experience the myriad pleasures of the world around them.

The Six of Cups almost radiates an aura of joy, because it represents the past with all its memories, the present with all its gifts, and the future with all its wondrous opportunities. The Six of Cups can thus signal a gift given or received, or some other similar gesture. You may be inspired to act kindly or charitably, or to do a good turn for another person. You are more open to sharing what you have and being well-intentioned.

Best that I can arrive at: The Three of Swords represents rejection, sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, betrayal, separation and grief. Such events feel so painful because they are unexpected. However, the Three of Swords often serves as a warning sign to show when one or more of these are possible. By preparing for this difficult event, the emotional blow can be minimised or even prevented entirely.

That said, pain, sorrow and grief are often a necessity in the journey of life. Without pain, there would be no challenge and no lessons learned. Pain can be a great motivator because it encourages you to surmount obstacles and ultimately learn from your mistakes. Each challenge you encounter creates that initial pain, which is inevitably turned into an opportunity to grow stronger and to change the direction of your life as a result of the lessons learned. While the pain may cloud your vision for a certain period, it will eventually allow you to see clearly and to put the past behind you. Though life seems meaningless at the time, recovery can and will occur. It takes faith, self-love, forgiveness and time. Count your blessings.

The Three of Swords therefore serves as a reminder that if you can start to see pain as a learning opportunity, life will suddenly become less painful. You need to really get in touch with pain and sorrow. Challenges remain but once they are no longer perceived as negative or ‘bad’, they lose a lot of their impact. This card is therefore encouraging you that you have the ability to conquer any pain that comes your way. Understand how the pain can help you grow. If someone has betrayed you and you do not think you can ever love again, challenge that belief. Do not be surprised when your heart emerges from darkness, capable of loving even more than before.

Similarly, the Three of Swords speaks of loss and difficulty, of sacrifice and broken relationships. It follows the difficult decision required in the Two of Swords, where you may be avoiding the necessity of making a tough choice. In the Three of Swords, the choice has been made, and you are now experiencing the consequences of our action. Often the choices make involve choosing one good over another, or one evil over another, and thus when you have finally made your decision, you are still left with the pain of losing the option you have not chosen. Often, however, the pain of losing something you once valued (such as a ‘comfortable’ relationship in which you are no longer growing) is necessary in order to prepare you for a more fulfilling experience in the future.

The Three of Swords is also about release. When you have suffered a major setback, or loss, it is a good time to have a good cry, which is all part of the cleansing process. Expressing your sadness and letting it all out will then help you to move on to better times. However, it is also important that you continue to focus on the future path ahead. There can be a risk that you may become overly absorbed in the loss and the surrounding emotions that you lose sight of the need to just let go and move on. The loss becomes your focus rather than the recovery. It is time to accept the loss and then move forward with your life.

The foundation on which the situation is based:
The Page of Wands is similar to the Fool in that he is a free spirit who represents change and new beginnings. He has a true passion for life, despite his understanding of this world is not yet fully developed. He has not yet been weighed down by the burdens of the material world, coming and going as he pleases, and usually encouraging change wherever he goes. He is like the catalyst that inspires changes that might be impossible in any other situation.

The appearance of the Page of Wands indicates that you are experiencing a creative restlessness within you that is just waiting for some sort of expression, or, you may be on the verge of some sort of discovery or new phase of life. The Page of Wands represents the sudden creative spark that comes to you, suddenly and unexpectedly, and that starts you down the road of a new creative vision. Thus, he encourages you to express yourself and your individuality with light-hearted abandon. Listen to your unconscious mind and follow your creative urges, even if you are worried about being the lonely voice crying out in the wilderness. With persistence and a balanced perspective even the immature desires of the Page of Wands can be transformed into a beautiful creative vision that can change the world.

Similarly, the Page of Wands indicates that you need to be positive and spontaneous but not overly impulsive. Your enthusiasm impresses others but if you become impatient or quick to anger or lose interest, you will put others off-side and you will waste time in your creative projects.

With the Page of Wands, you are inclined to give anything and everything a go. If you are enthusiastic or passionate enough, you embrace the opportunity to start out on a new journey or project and see where it takes you. You do not necessarily have a solid plan in place, nor do you really know where you are headed but you do know that you are excited about the possibilities.

You are enjoying being busy and involved in various activities and projects. You like the freedom of being able to choose what you will work on today, and hopefully it is different from what you worked on the day before.

Oftentimes, the Page of Wands is a messenger, bringing you inspiring or unexpected news, new information or a welcome surprise. It may be the birth of a child, a new and inspiring idea that a friend has, or a new opportunity for you to be involved in to ‘change the world’ such as a community project. His news is nearly always positive and welcomed because it is often associated with change and creation.

The Page of Wands may also represent someone you know or who is about to enter your life. He is a trusted friend who is devoted to your interests and will do everything he can to help you. His intentions will be honourable and genuine. He is here in your life to spark change, to help you see the world from a new perspective and to guide you towards a new approach. While you may look to this Page as an immature or child-like presence, he actually has a lot to offer you if you open yourself up to the possibilities that he shares with you.
Upright, our Knight of Swords is the young wit who leads the debate team or the computer club. He is the science wizard and young, hot-shot reporter. In a positive sense, he's out to change the world with his knowledge, cleverness and quick tongue. Verbally, no one can ever quite get the better of him.

Reverse this, however, and the cleverness, knowledge and tongue hit stumbling blocks. This is a person with a speech impediment or learning disabilities. He is intelligent, but unable to express himself, and his inability to win his battles frustrates him.

Contrariwise, he could also be a braggart - a blowhard who makes up wild stories that he can't back up or support. A coward who hides behind big words. He may, as well, be a cheater, pretending to be smart, but stealing his information from others (watch out for this guy if you're working on a project together, he'll take all the credit for your work!). This is a computer hacker, a troll, a person who uses his programming talent to spread viruses; he'll find naked pictures of you and post them on the internet; he delights in using words and his own cleverness to cause trouble and fights.

If not about a person, this card could be about air travel. Expect delays and problems if you're going to be travelling by air.

Others/environment:1) Opposite: obviously, if we just go "opposite" on this card then we have cowardice, fear, timidity. A complete lack of backbone. The querent has been or is likely to back down from challenges. They're weak-willed when it comes to controlling their own impulses or changing their life. They're far too passive and scared.

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2) Blocked: Blocked is a little bit different. The implication is that the strength and will are there, but something is preventing them from manifesting. I often think of someone constrained by courtesy or peer pressure from speaking up or doing the right thing. It is not that the person doesn't want to take control, or can't, but rather that something is keeping them from doing it (either something within or something without) and so the lion remains untamed.

3) Upside-down: right-side up, the maiden is controlling, and above, the lion. Reverse it and the lion is on top and in control. A scary situation. Unlike Reversed and Blocked, this interpretation suggests that the querent cannot manage to control the beast. They are not, as in #1, afraid, nor, as in #2, being prevented from trying to take control. Rather, in this interpretation, whatever it is they are trying to control is too much for them.

Putting it another way: the lion is in control - and the maiden does not know how to gain control over the beast before it rends her to pieces. To clarify: in interpretation #1, I would likely scold the querent that they had to learn to be brave and face the beast...though I probably wouldn't expect them to take my advice. #1 suggests someone who is too timid and unwilling to fight, more likely to keep hoping that if they just keep still the lion will go away.

In interpretation #2, I would tell the querent that they needed to free their courage and inner strength, to stop listening to whatever was holding that back. And I imagine this advice would be listened to.

In interpretation #3, however, I'd tell the querent that they cannot defeat the lion alone. This is the drug addict who needs rehab. Willpower alone isn't going to work. The beast is in control and the maiden needs saving before she is entirely consumed. This last interpretation suggests a very desperate situation requiring some desperate action. Certainly a cry for help at the very least.

Hopes/fears and unexpected element coming into play: Introduction: The Queen of Swords reversed very often can point to a woman in your life. She may not be a kind person, and may well have dark hair and/or dark eyes. You will want to stay on her good side if you can. She may (sometimes without realizing it or without meaning to) block important things from getting accomplished.
General: In general the Reversed Queen of Swords can indicate stumbling blocks; these are most often created by other people besides you but occasionally refers to those which you are creating. Do you behave in ways that people find abrasive? Are you shooting yourself in the foot without realizing it? If you don't know, ask someone you trust to be honest with you.

Work: The reversed Queen points to communication problems at work, both between people and with things like computers and information being misunderstood or misinterpreted. Take your time, explain yourself thoroughly and make sure that you are understood and that you have understood instructions and information as best you can. Assumptions can be very problematic now, both in established jobs and when job hunting.

Love: With regards to love, the main caution with this reversed Queen of Swords is that your memory of what happened or what was said in a romantic relationship may not be the actual reality of things. Be open to hearing your partner's point of view. If you're looking for love, you'll have to work harder than usual to understand where your prospective partner is coming from. Don't assume; ask.

Finances: With regard to money, the Queen of Swords reversed can show that communication and data mistakes can impact your financial life now. Check reciepts and financial statements carefully. Your bank or a store (or utility) could make an accidental mistake; catching it could save you substantial money.

Health: You need to be vigilant about remembering to take any medication that you are on, and this would also be a good time to make sure that women in your life that you care about are doing the same. If you have concerns about your health or the way your memory is functioning, this is an important time to seek medical attention. Be honest with your health care provider, even about things that may seem small.

Spirituality: The Queen of Swords reversed can indicate that a strong woman can really enrich your spiritual life now, however, she may do so in a way that is difficult to deal with or in a negative way. Sometimes people teach by showing us how we don't want to be. But with eyes open, we can learn from everyone, even people who have a tendency to be hurtful - whether they mean to be or not.


The Tens in Tarot represent the completion of a cycle, and thus with the Ten of Wands, you have reached the end of a cycle after a period of struggle. You are finally reaping your rewards after investing a lot of hard work and effort. You have fulfilled a creative venture, realised a dream or accomplished a major goal, and now must deal with the consequences of that fulfilment.

However, the Ten of Wands suggests that even with the achievement of your goal, there comes with it great responsibilities and commitments. While you have reached a point of completion, you are becoming starkly aware that you must now carry on with the responsibilities you have laid out for yourself, in order to ensure ongoing success. The trouble is, however, that these responsibilities may become too much to bear and you are struggling to let go. It is a bit like the business owner who creates a flourishing business but who is unprepared to delegate some of his/her responsibilities to the staff, and ends up working 70-80 hours a week. The inspiration and creativity that was associated with the initial goal or vision rapidly disappears, and everything becomes hard work all too quickly. Thus, it is incredibly important to let go of or delegate some of your responsibilities in order to free you up to still enjoy life.

The Ten of Wands serves as a reminder of how much we take on in our lives and all the extra burdens and responsibilities we weigh ourselves down with. We take on so much, trying to do all the things that need to be done. Thus, this card asks you to stop and examine your current lifestyle or work. Assess which activities or tasks are really urgent or really important, particularly in relation to your broader goals. You may need to employ various time management or prioritisation methods in order to determine where best to spend your time and which tasks you can drop. Your goal needs to be greater efficiency, whilst also freeing yourself up for rest and relaxation when you need it.

This card can also mean that you are being oppressed by outside sources. You are over-worked, over-tired and over-stimulated. You have more on your plate than you can possibly handle and you have taken on too much at this point in time. In an effort to get to the finish line, you have found yourself overwhelmed with the extra responsibility and activity. You need to stop working so hard. If you cannot stop, then conserve your energy and pace yourself. When you are over-committed everything becomes a strain.


The above image to me is a woman in control of herself. She is unafraid of what is going on around her, remains calm because she has faith that everything will be clear soon. This is my new attitude, one of authenticity, faith and calm.
I liked this information on improving relationships. Read the whole article.

1.Don’t let resentment build, deal with issues one at a time and as soon as they arise
2.Stop trying to control or manipulate your partner’s feelings or actions
3.Share your hopes, dreams and wishes
4.Share your fears
5.Be honest with yourself
6.Share your vulnerability instead of your anger
7.Express your disappointment gently
8.Check that you both have signed on to the same contract (Explain what you think the unwritten rules are)
9.Admit when you don’t know what to do
10.Admit it when you think you may have made a mistake

There are so many things that I want to do in my life. There are so many things that I want to be, do and have. I am ready right now, to start living the life that truly brings me the most joy. I think that in order to do this, everything must change. My life needs an overhaul and the real me must be uncovered. I have made a promise to myself to be 100% authentic, 100% truthful with myself and others. I can't live any other way for even one more minute. I have always had this habit of fooling myself into believing that things are the way that I want them and it has caused me nothing but pain. I am taking off my rosy spectacles to see my world as it is.
One of the things that I would like to start doing immediately is getting into new life affirming habits. It is not what we do occasionally that matters, but what we do repeatedly everyday that makes a real difference. Isn't this what habits are? So ... here are some of the habits I am going to adopt:
* First thing in the morning I am going to read over my goals
* Record my dreams for insight
* Pull 3 cards for insight
* Write a page in my journal listing all the things I love in my life and am thankful for.
* 2-3 law of attraction exercises every single day
* Take one action per goal
* Listen to audio that is uplifting and motivational
* Create objects for my shop that are helpful in aligning with intention
* Pray and ask for guidance
* Remind myself of what I DO want when I think of something that I don't want
* Ask empowering questions
* Visualize/meditate every day

I know that this is a lot, and I am certainly not going to beat myself up if I can't do all of them every single day. However, I believe that just by attempting to do these things I will start to notice a big difference in my life.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Intention Painting

What will today bring?

The Three Fates spread is an exceptionally popular way to gain insight into the emerging arc of the past, present, and future. The Rider Waite Tarot is the most widely recognized Tarot deck, and the first deck published in the 20th century. It was created by members of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, and is especially suited to questions of a mystical nature. If you would like your own copy of the Rider Waite Tarot, you can buy it now!
The left card represents an important element of the past. Queen of Pentacles: The essence of earth behaving as water, such as a hot spring: A warm and generous host, providing shelter and comfort for all who would seek it. A person steadfast, practical, and domestic, able to create opulence and stability in any setting. The qualities of maturity and sensibility, coupled with an innate appreciation for nature and the material world.
The middle card represents a deciding element of the present. The Lovers: A caring and trusting relationship. Beauty and inner harmony. A decision calling for emotional control and faithfulness to spiritual values.
The right card represents a critical element of the future. Seven of Wands (Valor): Standing courageously for your beliefs in the face of adversity. Fear of failure overcome by the will to succeed. Great obstacles met with heroism and determination. Inner strength brought to bear at a critical moment.
Yesterdays the law of attraction exercise was to create something that would attract my desire. So ... this is the project I did. It was huge. I am not gong to write what it is meant to attract. I am sure that you will figure it out fairly quickly just in looking at it.

Drum roll ............
Finished project was this eight foot long, four foot tall painting:

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Indian Summer at Goddard Park

Tarot of the day for 10/11/11:

Seven of Wands
Upright: Challenge, competition, perseverance
Similar to the Five of Wands, the Seven of Wands indicates a struggle after initial satisfaction and fulfilment. This time, however, the struggle is about maintaining your position at the top while others compete and fight to achieve the same success and status that you have already achieved. Thus, competition is rife and you must continually prove yourself with the Seven of Wands. If your vision and creative effort is fulfilled to the point where there is public acclaim or acceptance of your success then you must expect competition and challenge, as other people will no doubt also desire the same things as you.

The Seven of Wands can also indicate a challenge to the continued success of a venture or creative project from an external source. While it appears to block your path forward, you can overcome this challenge or obstacle by drawing upon your strong self-confidence, self-belief and continual self-improvement. It can also be overcome with effort and clarity of purpose.

The Seven of Wands is about holding your ground, despite ongoing challenges to your position and authority. You need to take a stand and defend your position at all costs. This will take courage and persistence but you have the strength and determination to do it. You see yourself as a battler and no matter what the challenge, you still have it in you to stand up for yourself and fight to the end. So, although you are experiencing a number of setbacks at the moment, you need to continue fighting for what you believe in and confronting others who may oppose or threaten you.

There needs to be acceptance with this card that you are not always going to be able to win everyone over. There will always be challengers and opposition to your point of view and you cannot keep everyone happy all of the time. Thus, now is the time to draw your line in the sand, and say, “This is who I am and this is what I need right now.” There cannot be any compromise or negotiation at this time, just hold your ground with determination and courage.

From quite a literal perspective, this card can indicate that you will be required to give a speech or write a paper on a contentious or highly debated issue. You will need to be ready to defend your argument and present hard facts that support your point of view. Expect to be challenged but enjoy this challenge as it will help you to create an even more robust argument.

Six of Pentacles
Upright: Generosity, charity, giving, prosperity, sharing wealth
The Six of Pentacles is a card representing being in harmony with your money. The amount that comes in and the amount that flows out are in balance, and you are thankful for what you have without being grasping of it, and happy to share with others in need. This card is also about charity. You may either be the wealthy man in this card, giving away his wealth, or the beggars, gratefully receiving what the man has to offer.

Nine of Swords
Upright: Depression, nightmares, intense anxiety, despair
The Nine of Swords is the card of fear and nightmares, and has an apparently negative ‘feel’ to it. However, the troubles alluded to in the Nine of Swords are primarily of a psychological nature and do not necessarily indicate suffering in your external reality. That is, it is what is inside your mind that is creating the fear and anxiety, not your actual circumstances. Your experience of the world is greatly influenced by our expectations, desires, and fears, and therefore you are largely the creator of your own world, and your attitudes determine how you experience that world.

The Nine of Swords can also reflect fear of the future, or what may possibly happen in the future. If you allow yourself to be bound by fear of the future, you are at risk of eventually creating a negative reality for yourself by virtue of your expectations. Your nightmare becomes your self-fulfilling prophecy, which is clearly not a desirable outcome.

Shannon and I were in my apartment,cleaning. She went outside to take out the trash and discovered it was GORGEOUS out!!!!!!!
So, we decided to take the kids to the park. There was something completely magical about it. It was more than the weather, and more than the beauty of the park. My life feels so magical right now, everything is just falling into place. It is wonderful, and I am so grateful.

Even driving to the park was beautiful, I was just taken back by how clear and bright the day was. Almost uncomfortably warm.
We had cleaned out my car (finally) so there was kind of a freshness about things.
The stairs that lead up to the path remind me of something from a fantasy movie.

The first thing we come across that caught the attention of the little ones was a tree with exposed roots. Really cool little spot for Wes.
Then there is this other tree ... it's branches dip down into the water and there is a perfect reflection of the sunlight and colorful leaves. It is a really pretty spot, there is something about it. Maybe it is the way the light hits the water, or the tiny little fish that swim in and out of the roots. Or maybe it is just something about that particular spot that really has nothing to do with the light or the fish.

My little girl is so precious. She loves taking pictures, and having her picture taken. Wesley was gathering his thoughts - and some random sticks on the path. He is a collector of all fine things, sticks, pine cones, rocks and dead sea creatures. They come home with me and decorate my house.
This is another shot taken at the magical tree. I love that tree!!
Seleneand Wesley don't always get along, but when they do, they truly are the best of friends.
I mentioned before that Selene likes to take photos. Well, she grabbed the camera and took a very quick snap shot of Wesley. I really like it, again, makes him look magical.
Forced them to stay still for two minutes so I could take this photo.
Shannon found this leaf, we thought it looked like it was a heart connected by a heart in the center.
Shannon also found a leaf that she wants to send to her friend in Africa who has never gotten to experience fall.
Then she climbed this crazy cool tree.
Selene was actually blinking in the photo below, but I felt like it looked like she was reflecting on something wonderful.
Somehow the children had green all over them. Must have been a marker from home.
Shannon is the best friend that anyone could be lucky enough to find. She has always been there for me, even when no one else really was. She loves my kids as if they were her own. She will always be like my sister.